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Frustrated, paralyzed and exasperated, we say phrases like:
“I keep getting in my own way”
“I don’t know what came over me”
“I’m in two minds’ about something”
But we weren’t meant to be our own worst enemies. Where does such doubtful and self-defeating negativity that causes us to ‘battle with ourselves’ come from? And how can we live more self-fulfilled lives? The solution is to acquaint with and heal our hurt Sub-Personalities so we can then allow ourselves to thrive.
What are the four Sub-Personalities?
Some people present one personality to their co-workers, yet show another personality to their family or friends. We may have sub-personalities that dictate our physical desires like food, alcohol, sex, or even the way we receive love and get our needs met.
The one thing these Sub-personalities share is the ability to induce anxiety, negative self-talk and sabotage. Once you become mindful, you will recognise and heal them because they exist in differing degrees in all of us. They are:
- The Worrier: Main function is to promote anxiety, panic attacks, fear and depression. It creates hopelessness, anticipating the worst. They tend to always be on edge, watching for signs of trouble or fantasizing about the worst possible catastrophes occurring. Their key expression is: “What if?”.
- The Critic: Main function is to promote low self-esteem by being extremely judgmental of themselves. They put themselves down constantly for any flaw, limitation, or failure they perceive in themselves. They fall into the mental trap of overemphasizing their weaknesses and filtering out their strengths. Their key expression is: “Can’t you ever do anything properly?”
- The Victim: Main function is to create helpless and hopeless feelings. It is that part of you that believes you have an inherent defect that makes you unworthy, incapable and unlovable. It tells you that nothing will ever change, and circumstances are irreversible and incurable. The Victim consequently places obstacles and barriers between themselves and their goals, depriving themselves of self-satisfaction. Their key expression is: “I’ll never be able to…”, “I can’t”.
- The Perfectionist: Main Function is to promote stress and burnout. This person constantly pushes themselves to do bigger and better, always telling themselves that they aren’t doing well enough. When they fail to do something that doesn’t conform with their high standards, they are intolerant and self-derisive. The Perfectionist does not forgive or forget, creating great pressure and anxiety for themselves. Their key expression is: “I must”, “I should”, “I have to”.